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Thoughts of Fear

February 1, 2009
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Here’s a little insight into the thought life of Kyla Joy.

While driving on an unfamiliar highway in Texas…

“Culebra St. Culebra, culebra. I think that means snake. I remember where I learned that word.” Picture: Guatemala. Forest. Green. Weeds. Lindsey.

Lindsey comments: “Una culebra. Es negro y amarillo. Que bonita. (A snake. it’s black and yellow. How pretty.)” or something to that effect. Her observation was met with “No lo tocas! no lo tocas! (Don’t touch it! Don’t touch it!)”

As I recalled that scene, my mind remembered my response to it. I cannot recall being so fearful at any time in my life before, or after, this incident.  At this point in my thoughts I’m remembering how my body felt with all of that fear. I was nearly paralyzed. The snake, of course, was a Coral Snake. We were told that if we were bitten, we could die in 30 minutes (I have no idea if that is true or not, and don’t care to know. That’s what we were told then, and all the information I had at the time). Unfortunately, we were also told that we were at least, if not further, 30 minutes away from a hospital.

At this recollection as I’m passing Culebra St. off of I-410, my thoughts continued.

“I remember how tense my body was, how I was afraid to keep doing the tasks we were supposed to do. Wait a second. That’s how my body feels right now. I’ve been so stressed lately, including this drive, that my entire body is tense and doesn’t want to move. Whoa (here comes the light-bulb moment), my stress lately hasn’t been stress, has it? It’s actually fear. Stress is fear. Fear of not accomplishing something, fear of failing, fear of making the wrong decision, fear of loss. Fear.”

I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4

2 Comments leave one →
  1. February 3, 2009 7:22 pm

    Ooooh good writing here, Kyla girl. Making decisions debilitate me with fear. 😦

  2. February 1, 2009 12:59 am

    that is an interesting line to walk…between stress and fear. great insight!

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